i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
