I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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