fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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