Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
