I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
birth control should be required to get into college
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
