Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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