You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
