God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
