I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
