shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize