he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
