She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
