At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize