Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
