I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I am naked and annoyed.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
