Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
