Just mADE A PArabola og urine
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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