I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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