wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I am spending my child support on dildos
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize