Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
