If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
