my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize