you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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