If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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