i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
