What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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