right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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