I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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