If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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