I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Randomize