Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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