I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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