When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
