I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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