More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize