Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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