bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
