I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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