Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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