fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
