I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
