I'm going to jail i love you
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize