Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
