I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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