The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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