i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
