just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
