Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
