All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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