Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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