That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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