and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
a search helicopter?!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Houston, we have a squirter
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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