If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
