He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
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Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
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Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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