he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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