"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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