i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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