i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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