So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
