38 yer olds are good kisserssss
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
