At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
