my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
