When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
