dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
