my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
That was before I lit my hair on fire
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
