you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
