My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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